The Leash

Two days this week so far have had something to do with my feelings about the leash... here is what I wrote in my journal

~Sunday~

For some reason today I find myself craving a leash. I feel the need to hear the click as it attaches to my collar. The security of being led by Master wherever he wants me to go. I felt it first after my interview with Master WW. I could not figure out why. I almost asked my mentors if it is even allowed, since I am only GIS1. I will bide my time though... I know when a Master wishes it, he will take my leash

~Tuesday~

When He leashed me.... my heart stopped for a moment, and it started back up wildly... my breathing came fast... my heart felt huge in my chest... i almost wanted to cry... i gasped as soon as he jerked me over to him... that loss of control was wonderful... this simple thing... it took my breath away....

and then the leash was removed... i actually frowned... it felt wrong... i know it was just a demonstration, but now i want it even more... i want to continue to kneel at His feet and have Him lead me around... to guide me where i need to be... to keep me safe and secure in my submission to him...

i needed this... i felt my submission deeply... down in my core... and so deep in my heart i am still reeling from it... it amazes me that i can feel the things i have been feeling with a Master who is not "my Master".... i can say all day long that i am polyamorus... but i *feel* it here in Austin... i love the Masters, i love the girls... and i do not feel jealous, or envious of any of them... i just want them all to be happy and feel loved always.... and i will do everything possible to make sure i help to make that happen